Prison-The Fundamental Change of my Life

Prison
The Fundamental Change of my Life

Other than focusing on all of the unjust treatment, the
dehumanization of people, and the constant negative environment that
totally consumes the everyday life of a prisoner in CDC, I choose to
take this time in my life to build or create something good for
myself and others who also choose to look beyond the bullshit. I
have been in the hole since December 12, 2005 and from that time on
I have made a conscious decision to change my life by taking an
honest look at my past and current behavior. I am taking complete
responsibility for my actions, both in and out of prison.

Never in life have I been motivated to do "normal things" like
school and many other healthy things that young people do. I have
been defiant of pretty much everything since I was about eleven
years old. I have spent much of my time until July 26, 2005, doing
a wide variety of illegal activities, that I will not go into detail
about due to the reality that it doesn't matter. It is in the past
and I am moving forward. For all those miserable years, I was a
very dark and miserable person. From a young age, (too young) I
have had skeletons in my closet.

Since I have been incarcerated, I refuse to live like that any
longer. I have started to make positive changes. I started small
by implementing an exercise and stretching routine into my daily
schedule. Exercise is a big key to relieving stress. I have found
that a sound body equals a sound mind. After the physical exercise,
I switch to mental exercise. I stimulate my mind by doing a lot of
writing and even more studying. For the first time in my life, I
feel motivated and even eager to soak up the knowledge.

In the hole, resources are extremely limited. It is very helpful to
have someone on the outside to help with desired resources. In my
case, I am fortunate to have a wonderful Mom. I realize that not
everybody has the support I do and I do my best to share materials
and information with others.

Now that I am feeding the urge to conquer my lower life condition by
both physical and mental challenges, I can truly say that I am happy
with my current life position, despite my location. I feel that no
matter what they say to me or do to me, I refuse to let them have
control over my spirit. I encourage anyone reading this to take
complete control and responsibility for their lives no matter where
they are. Remember it is unacceptable to be in a place where you
are depressed. Remember to be true to yourself. Always.

Adam